WLW: Emotional Eating

I wasn't going to post this week... it was not a good week.

I did a lot of emotional eating over the weekend. I haven't done that in a long time because, you know, I've been trying to break myself of that habit. Doing that was how I got so fat in the first place.

It's actually really bizarre – when I feel sad, I don't feel hungry. Quite the opposite in fact, but I eat anyway. I eat stuff that's easy to get and doesn't involve any preparation beyond throwing it in the oven.

I need to find another outlet besides food to make me feel better when I'm feeling sad. Generally, I know that going for a walk often helps, but by the time I thought of that on the weekend, it was far too late to be wandering around town.

I was expecting a massive gain, which would probably have depressed me even more after coming so far. And yes, I have come far in this. I may not be down 30 pounds yet, but I'm doing alright.

This weekend I have a meeting in PG. It's kind of a milestone for me, since it was at the last meeting I had in K-Town that I made the decision to get healthier. I've thinned out quite a bit since those people last saw me, so it's going to be interesting if they notice after not having seen me since June.

It's kind of crazy, looking back at when I started this – God I hate this word – journey. Did you know, that I weigh more now than I did when I joined Weight Watchers the first time, back in 2007? It's true! I think I may just throw myself a party when I get down to that original starting weight of 209 lbs.

Considering how heavy I was a few months ago, it just seems bizarre that I felt the need to go to WW at that size. But then, I look at photos of me at that weight, and you can see why. Here's one:

I see you, Baby... shakin' that ass!

Actually, maybe I wasn't all that fat at the time... it just seemed like it, considering I was about 20 pounds heavier than I was a year prior. But I was very soft back then. I didn't do any real exercise beyond walking, which actually helped immensely once I started WW. Between dancing and derby, I'm far more toned now than I was then, so 209 should look pretty damn good on me... you know, once I get there.

So anyhoo, I am going to share the number, as it wasn't nearly as bad as I was dreading.

Last week's weight was 221.1 lbs.

This week's number is...

*zoooooooom*

220.7 lbs

Putting me at 14.8 lbs total weight loss.

Not a huge loss, but totally not a gain. I'll take it.

And now that we're past all this emotional drama, next results should be much improved.

Snacks and stuff,

Ginger

WLW: BDay Aftermath

Who says material possessions can't make you happy?

The exorbitant purchase of my new camera, while inspiring dread at the prospect of paying it off over the next however-many months, also made me very giddy at the prospect of finally being able to take a decent photograph again. My happiness trumps the money spent! So there!

Ordinarily my free weekends are just that – Saturday and Sunday. Well... this free weekend kind of started on Thursday.

I took Friday off, you see. Gave myself a nice long weekend that, quite frankly, I have more than earned. So Thursday night's dinner, I believe was a bag of chips. It's weird, I used to be such a sugar fanatic – an addict if you will – but now all I want it salt. Mostly in potato chip form. Lays Sour Cream and Onion potato chip form, to be exact.

You really can't eat just one. I tried. And failed.

I ate two bags of those damn things this weekend. But thankfully on the days I did eat them, they were pretty much all I ate. Despite not eating super healthy, I didn't eat a whole lot that was unhealthy... I think.

I was given a cupcake by by dear friend Porny, which was absolutely delicious because the pink icing – that I thought would just taste, you know, pink – tasted like strawberries. So yummy. It's a good thing there's no fancy cupcake shop in this town, or even an actual bakery beyond the grocery stores for that matter. I'd weigh 350 lbs if that were the case, I'm sure of it.

While making the trek to the big city of GP, I admit I was tempted to hit the drive-thru at Arby's and bring home a bag of sandwiches like we used to do way back when. Of course, back then, that bag of sandwiches was split between three kids, and not consumed by one woman that was starving after wandering around the mall for a couple hours.

I instead went to the Opa Souvlaki of Greece near the box stores. It wasn't too much better than the two or three giant sized roast beef sandwiches I wanted (which would have tasted fucking amazing, by the way), but at least there was some salad at Opa.

But getting back on track as of Monday must have helped... either that or the scale had a typo somewhere.

So last week a weighed in at 221.7 lbs. This week my weight is...

*bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

What? The beeper is broken.

221.1 lbs.

Down a few ounces, which puts my total weight loss at 14.4 lbs.

So close to being out of the 220's... I can taste it.

Get it? Ha ha, I'm funny.

Chips and Dip,

Ginger

Nine and Twenty

So today is my birthday.

I am officially 29 years old. I've reached the end of a decade and a new one is looming.

I've actually written and re-written what I was going to post here about three times now. I wasn't sure if I should go the lamentation route and bemoan the fact that I've only got one year left of being a 20-something and dwell on the shit I haven't done, or take the "fuck yeah, I'm awesome" path, since I'm kind of feeling both at the moment.

I've done a lot in the past decade. I went to university and got my Bachelor's Degree in Fine Arts, which despite it being right up there with Philosophy in the "Bachelor of Unemployment" category, I managed to parley those six years into a wholly satisfying, if not stressful at times, career. One that actually allows me to use pretty much everything I did in school – writing, taking photos and all the editing I did for my classmates.

I took a bus to Whitehorse, Yukon, flew to St. John's, Newfoundland; hopped across the pond to Scotland and spent some time in New York City, San Francisco and Las Vegas. So I did manage to get some travelling in there. Not as much as I would have liked, but that's still pretty good.

I have fallen behind my peers in terms of relationships, though. I'm no where near close to being able to bring my "family" to all those family get-togethers, but you never know what will happen in a year. For now, I have my niece to fill that spot, and she's about the coolest person under two years old that I know. We play Ponies. Ponies are awesome.

I did have a solo art show, but my artistic endeavours have fallen by the wayside lately. It actually makes me sad to think about that. When I was in art school, I had people telling em that I was going to be the ones that "made it." I was edgy, I didn't care who was offended or pissed off by my work, I did it anyways. And it was A-fucking-mazing.

My edge has been worn down, and maybe that comes with being out in the real world and not in the surreal world of the studio and darkroom. But I've got my favourite tool back, and I plan to put this new camera to good use.

I have spent nearly seven of the last ten years as a belly dancer. It's something I took as a way to get myself off-campus at least once a week and has bloomed into something fabulous. I used to be terrified about being on a stage in front of people. Now, I barely blink at the thought of people watching me dance. And I'm pretty damn good at it. No one three-quarter shimmys like me.

And, in the past year, I took a chance on doing something that seemed both wholly exciting and extremely terrifying at the same time. I joined roller derby. And let me tell you, there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not eternally grateful that this sport came here. When I started I could barely stay standing – my ass got up close and personal with the floor more time than I can count. But now, as the one-year derby-versary gets closer, I can say that I've played in two bouts and somehow held my own (sort of) during them. I managed to not seriously injure myself, beyond those two incidents with my knees, but whatevs. I'm going to get better. I'm going to get more confident on my skates and actually start hitting some bitches.

So, yeah. Little lament-y, little fuck yeah-y.

Having a birthday fall on a Sunday sucks balls, so after a savour my delicious pot of Kicking Horse coffee, I'm going to get myself dressed, clean the apartment, go grocery shopping and eat something. Then, I'm going to go for a nice long walk with my new camera and take all sorts of fabulous photographs. Because that's how I roll.

I'll likely do a post of the results sometime this week.

So Happy Birthday to me. Here's to another 29 years at beyond.

Cake and candles,

Ginger.

WLW: Cake?

So I'm adding another food to my list of Foods I Can't Eat Because They Make Me Sick. Currently, white pasta and milk chocolate top the list. After this weekend, I'm adding fries.

Which totally sucks balls, because I love fries. Especially when they're under gravy and cheese.

Formerly, joy. Currently, evil.

I really can't believe how ill I felt on the weekend. I didn't even eat that many fries, just a few that were left at the bottom of the bag in the freezer. But not 30 minutes after finishing my little lunch I had to lay down with a rolling stomach and raging headache. I slept for two hours...two freakin' hours!! That's not normal.

I've made an appointment to discuss this with my doctor. After Googling my symptoms, it looks like I'm having blood sugar spikes, which apparently aren't healthy. I know the easiest way to solve this problem is to not eat stuff that makes me feel sick, but I'd like to know the reason why they make me feel sick.

So yeah. Beyond my little fry adventure, I was pretty good this week. It was unseasonably warm last week, which made it ridiculously hot in my apartment, which in turn made cooking dinner and eating the last thing I felt like doing. Not eating is bad, I know. But if you lived in the sauna that is my apartment in summer weather, you wouldn't want to turn the stove/oven on either.

This coming weekend is a free weekend, which is a damn good thing because it's.... dun dun DUN!... my birthday! That means I get cake! Yay!

MINE!!!!

I don't know where or how I'll get cake but I'll find some one way or another.

On with the show!

Last week was wine weight gain, but things were looking up for this week. Lots of fruit and veggies, minimal carbs. Keep your fingers crossed!

My weight last week was 224.6 lbs

This week I weigh in at....

*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

221.7 lbs, for a total weight loss of 13.8 lbs

Back on track, bitches!!!!!

Hopefully, now that bellydance and now derby are back, I'll get more exercise and shed some more poundage.

Calories don't count on your birthday, right?

Cake and Skates,

Ginger.

Homonyms

I really do love that Robot Chicken came up with a song about linguistics that's educational and NSFW at the same time.

Epic Win.

Words and Giggles,

Ginger.

Random Photo Friday: Summer Sun

So, the blog got itself a little facelift, as those who have been following for awhile can see. I like it much better this way, looks cleaner.

I'll probably rotate out the header whenever the mood strikes me, but for now I like the old school typewriter. Very retro.

I also finally got around to resizing the ECRDA logo under the Derby Love sidebar, which looks a damn sight better too. If any other league out there wants their team logo on the list, by all means, let me know in the comments. I'll link back to your league/team website and everything!

Anyhoo, photo time!

So summer finally decided to show its ugly face after fucking off for June, July and August. This sucks balls for me, since I'm not a good heat person and my top floor apartment turns into a sauna when the temperature gets above 20C.

So here's a random photo ofmy favourite time of day: when the sun goes away.

Farewell and Fuck You, Sun!

Taken off my balcony when I noticed the light outside had a real tungsten feel to it.

So, yeah. Let me know how you like the new look of the blog!

Heat and Exhaustion,

~Ginger

WLW: I love wine

It's true. I love wine. White wine to be specific. Chardonnay, Pinot Gris, Sauvingnon Blanc, Riesling – it's all good. I've never been down with red wines, since to me they taste like that bile aftertaste you get in your mouth after vomiting. How's that for a lovely mental picture?

On the right, deliciousness! On the left, a glass of puke.

It's something I haven't allowed myself since I started this whole weight loss thing. White wine has a shit tonne of sugar in it, so I've stayed away from my favourite alcoholic bevvy, instead opting for Gin andTonic, since that's really the only hard liquor I can drink without pop or juice to mix it. Plus, wine makes me gain a minimum of three pounds in bloatiness, every single time.

Why am I bringing up white wine? Well, in case you haven't guessed already, I had some this weekend. And by some, I mean probably the equivalent to an entire bottle. To myself.

See, I went to a wedding this weekend. I love weddings, especially ones where I'm not related to anyone and don't have to deal with family bullshit. People tend to be at their happiest when they see two people who love each other pledge to be together for ever and ever.

It's a celebration of love, and what better way to celebrate that then with wine? Seriously?

I know what you're thinking, 'but Ginger, couldn't you have just had your Gin and Tonics at the wedding?' I could have, yes. But someone attending the wedding was allergic to citrus, which meant no limes to put in my Gin and Tonic.

That's a weak excuse, I know. But that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

In addition to practically drinking my weight in wine, I also indulged in the dessert table. Chocolate cupcakes with chocolate butter cream icing? Fuck, yes!

Not the ones I had at the wedding, but.... pretty colours!

So between cupcakes and wine, plus the hangover food I ate the day after, who wants to bet I did really shitty this week?

It's true, I did do shitty this week, but I'm not going to let myself feel bad about it. Been there, done that the past two weeks. I refuse to feel bad this week.

I got to see a friend and co-worker marry a wonderful women that doesn't take any of his shit and quite frankly is perfect for him, which makes her eight shades of awesome.

I refuse to feel guilty about celebrating love. There's not enough in this world, it feels like sometimes. Otherwise, why would everyone keep saying 'we gotta stop hating, we gotta love each other'?

So let's focus on stuff I love this past week, weight-related or otherwise.

I love that the dress pants I bought in Montana are looser, and not just because I've 'broken them in'.

I love that my waistline is down to 35.5 inches – the max a woman's waistline is supposed to be is 35 inches, otherwise they're carrying too much heart-attack belly fat – which is getting me closer to being that much healthier.

I love that I've finally made the decision to replace my dead DSLR so I can get back to working on my photography. I haven't done any 'artsy' photography is close to a year, and I've missed it terribly. Along that line, I also love that I'm in a place in my life where I can contemplate dropping $1,700 on a camera and not feel like I'll never be able to pay for it.

I love that I was able to talk to my bestie out in Newfoundland for a little while today.

I love that bellydancing is back tonight, even though my knee is still being a bitch and shimmying might not work so well.

I love that my orange travel mug from Whitehorse is full of delicious Highland Grogg coffee right now... mmmmm, tasty.

So yeah, there's a few things that I love at the moment.

So onward to what I don't love so much.

Last week saw no change in my weight, which left me at 223.6 lbs.

This week I sit at....

*drumrolllllllllll*

224.6 lbs

I'm up a pound, which sucks. BUT! Remember how I said wine makes me gain three pounds? Well, maybe I've lost two of those three, and just need to take off the last pound of wine weight! Right? Right!

I am totally back on track with my eating – I think I've been consuming too much fruit lately – so we'll see what the next week brings.

Lots and Love,

Ginger.