WLW: Eleventy Billion

I'm pretty sure that's the number of calories I burned last night, because holy shit I felt like death by the time derby practice as over.

I was light-headed and I could taste my dinner in the back of my throat, which was absolutely disgusting. I had hoped that I'd be better conditioned, but I felt like I'd sat on the bloody couch all winter instead of being all exercise-y. Boo-urns!

Oh well. It's nice to be back at it. Lots of new faces last night, which was awesome to see. Yay!

Between roller derby, belly dance and running, I really ought to be able to drop several more inches by the end of the summer. I actually want to get an iPhone just so I can have this app. Running would be a hell of a lot more fun, and likely more effective, by having intervals of running away from Zombies.

I've not had the greatest day today – I had heartburn for most of the afternoon and now I'm getting that pukey in the throat feeling again. Maybe a sandwich for lunch wasn't the best idea.

On the plus side, I am down this week! Last week was 223.5, and this week I'm 222.5! Yay! I think it's due to the aforementioned eleventy billion calories I burned at practice.

So, yeah. I'm gonna go crawl into bed and read Interview with the Vampire on my Kindle. Sorry for being all short and lame this week. I think I need to go back to cutting out all carbs all together.

I know kung fu,

Ginger.

WLW: Sigh

I had much stress last week with all the parking drama. It's been resolved – thank fuck for that – but I was an absolute wreck by the time Saturday rolled around.

About.com tells me that yes, stress can make you gain weight, even if you're not being an emotional eater like I usually am. I didn't emo-eat this week, I was too upset, so I'm gonna guess it's cortisol or something hormone-y related.

Also, I'm trying to exercise more. And that always makes me heavier on the scale at first.

See, our derby coach gave us a not-too-subtle hint that we should be getting into shape for next season, because he's going to murder us or something if we don't. Okay, those weren't his exact words, but you can tell that was the real message if you read between the lines... Basically he doesn't want us getting all soft over the break. Which I get.

So after pondering what I can do to try and get into shape, I made the decision to drag my ass out of bed an hour earlier than usual to do this lovely little torture device called Roller Derby Workout.

Good Morning, Ginger! We're here to kill you!

It's all leg, core and ass work, and painful as fuck. And despite what it says on the cover there, they want you to wear skates while you do it because they talk to you like you're wearing skates. I'm not quite there yet, maybe in another week I'll get brave and release my skates from their prison. For now, my own body weight will have to suffice, because I can barely walk when I'm done.

On top of this, I'm also going to the indoor walking track right after work to power walk for an hour. I have to go to the track straight from work, otherwise I'll find some way to talk myself out of going if I'm home for any amount of time. I know me, I'm like that.

I'll be doing this Monday to Friday, then maybe just going regular walking on the weekends... or maybe I'll try actually jogging instead. Might be time to climb back on that horse.

Today was only my third day doing this, so I don't expect any results just yet. I've heard from a very reliable source (my sister) that it takes 21 days of doing something before it becomes a habit. So I'm going to try this for three weeks and see what I get.

It's funny – I was having a discussion with my coworker the other day about how I seem to do one or the other, eat right or exercise. It's rarely both. When I'm eating properly, I don't seem to exercise as much. When I'm exercising a lot, I tend to eat more since exercise makes me hungry. Surely there's a nice comfortable middle ground in there somewhere?

I'm up two pounds from last week, but according to the magic scale, I'm like down a pound of fat... is it possible to gain muscle in two days? I wouldn't think so, but maybe it is? I'm going to tell myself that's the case – it makes me feel better.

So I'm once again only down nine pounds, but now is not the time to get discouraged! I've got a dance performance and derby season coming up in the New Year, and I'm going to look fab for both! Yay!

To end this post on a high note, here's a photo I took earlier this week at dusk.

Purty.

Bend and Stretch,

Ginger.

WLW: finally....

I have been good as gold this week with my eating.

Well, maybe not totally... I did have some Werther's chocolate, but that's it. I went out for lunch with a friend and had a salad instead of a burger and fries, and had soup when I went with my sister. I didn't buy chips or any other crap.

This may have something to do with the fact that my car was in the shop.

See, we got a massive dump of snow on Nov. 17, the same day my car decided not to start. The lack of a vehicle, combined with the unpleasant weather, limited my ability to just take off to the store to find myself some snackies. If I was that motivated I suppose I could have walked, but it was cold out and I didn't wanna.

Like this, but times a billion.

I had no choice but to eat what I had in the house for most of the week, so I think that helped. My sister was kind enough to take my grocery shopping so I could stock up on vegetables, which is where I got the chocolate.

I did have one bad meal, though. Which is likely a contributing factor to this week's number. See, I have that Do Not Eat list, and it's full of mostly carby-starchy stuff, such as pasta.

Well, when I finally got my car back, I celebrated by going to the store to find something different for dinner – the thought of eating salad and fish/chicken again made me want to barf. I knew I was on track for a loss this week from eating that salad and fish, but I just needed something else.

So after wandering around aimlessly for like 20 minutes; going up and down the frozen pizza aisles, saying 'no' to that; considering a different meat, like steak or pork; wondering just how bad it would it be if I just three bags of chips and called it a day.

Then, after my third trip down Dairy Lane, I stopped at the end after spying the so-called fresh pasta. Now, pasta is on the Do Not Eat list, as I've mentioned before, but I spied a package of whole grain tortellini – WHole Grain!! Sure I could eat that! Whole grains are better than multi grains, right?

Wrong. So very very wrong.

I felt like shit later that night and the whole next day. Whole grain pasta is just as evil as regular pasta. Lesson learned.

So after all that, I stepped on the scale this morning and I was actually down! Holy shitballs, it's a miracle!!

It was only a pound, but it's something, right? Better than yet another stagnant week!

So I'm back to being down 11 lbs, which is a good step in the right direction.

Only, what? 14 more to go by New Year's?

Yikes.

I think I might switch up that goal a bit – see, my dance troupe is doing a performance in March, and I'd like to be just a bit more on the svelte side than the fat ass side by then, so maybe we'll make the goal be 25-30 down by then? Give me a little more time so I won't get quite so depressed come New Year's Eve.

Sound like a plan, man?

Chicken and Salad,

Ginger.

WLW: Going Greek

I have made a fantastic discovery! Fantastic in my mind, anyway.

A few weeks ago, a co-worker and I discussed yogurt. Specifically, greek yogurt, which she had recently tried and absolutely loved. Mixed with fruit, she said, was a most satisfying breakfast.

I'd actually forgotten about that conversation until I was wandering around the grocery store in a vain attempt to find something interesting to eat. I was in the yogurt section, about to grab my usual lemon flavoured, low-fat, no-sugar brand, when I spotted some little tubs of the aforementioned greek yogurt.

Now, I'd been eating the now-fat, no-sugar yogurt mostly due to the low calorie count of the product. Which is kind of ridonkulous when I've been trying to get away from over-processed food by avoiding calorie-wise anything. So why the hell was I still eating the fake yogurt when I've been eating (reasonable portions of) real salad dressing, mayo, sour cream and everything else?

Upon perusing the nutrition labels, I found that the greek yogurt has a few less calories per serving than the full fat, full sugar yogurt, and far more protein as well. Alright, I said, I'll give it a shot. I picked out the strawberry kind – stick with a familiar flavour, I figured – got some bananas and strawberries (my yogurt staples) and toddled off home to await the morn.

Holy shitballs, it was amazing.

Soooooo yummy....

It's thick and creamy, the strawberry takes away the tartness, and it had more protein than my usual bacon and eggs – and less grease.

Wow, I just wrote a lot about yogurt....

I wish I could tell you I posted a loss today. In fact, as of Sunday I was all set to do so. I was down from what I'd been the past few weeks, and was looking forward to actually writing it this week.

But no. My weight had other ideas.

It's my own fault, really. I had the absolute shittiest day at work yesterday, awesome yogurt or no, and decided that I just wantedcheese and crackers for dinner. A lot of cheese and crackers.

mmmmm, cheese.

The logic behind it was 'surely having cheeseand crackers for dinner is better than going and getting a cheeseburger and poutine, right?' Because I really wanted a fucking cheeseburger and poutine, you have no idea.

So for the fourth week in a row (holy fuck!??!) I sit at 225 lbs. I'm getting seriously annoyed now.

I thought I did alright this last week – I didn't even drink at a derby get-together just because I wanted to post a loss! Okay, I had a couple Mexican Snickerdoodles and bread, but I've had worse than that with still posting a loss! Not recently, obviously, but it has happened. Plus! I've started doing step and stuff! Doesn't that count for anything?!!?

Rawr, says I. Rawr.

Maybe I should start doing the weekly weigh in on Mondays, and then just post that number here on Wednesdays?

Anyhoo, off to eat a nice salad and some chicken for dinner... 'cause I'm good like that.

Peace and Love,

Ginger

WLW: That First Step

I'm really going to hate that blonde bitch in the step aerobics DVD. I can already tell. She's far too peppy for someone that's clearly trying to kill me.

My sister and I started our step aerobics journey last night, in case you couldn't tell. We follow a DVD down in her basement, which the cat and dog watch and most likely mock us in cat- and dog-speak.

You would think that as a dancer, I'd pick up on this fairly quickly. I do it all the time at dance workshops and whatnot, doing step should be a breeze!

Oh, hell no.

Steps are evil, just look at it!

I nearly fell off the step at least three times... this would be why the blonde lady said to look down at the step once in a while. I couldn't coordinate my right foot with my left, and I'm pretty sure I did most of the moves backwards.

But I got my heart rate up, which was the whole point, I guess.

So we're going to do this twice a week for a while and see how it goes. My hope is 'very well.'

After all that exercise from Sk8fest this weekend, plus all the not-eating from being sick the week before, that I would be down something this week. Oh no. I am exactly what I was a week ago. Still only down 10 pounds. Still fuming at the scale.

At least I know I can maintain.

But enough of this bullshit. Time to throw myself back on the wagon and stop fucking around. I know I say that every week, but I really mean it this time! Really!

It should be a lot easier now, what with my weekend getaways all done for a few months. I'm so sick of restaurant food, even though I had some pretty good restaurant food in PG, I still don't want to eat it for three meals a day.

So, the goals are to eat at home so I can control what I eat and how it's made, and to continue with step, bellydance and do some laps at the walking track.

Sounds good to me.

Step and step,

Ginger.

WLW: Expectations

Brace yourself – I'm talking about food again.

I fully expected to come out of this weekend with a gain.

I mean, how could I not? I was down in Vancouver for a meeting with free beer and free food! Combined with two rather late nights with very early mornings (who came up with idea that delegates coming in from out of town should have be actually awake and lucid for breakfast at 7:30 a.m.?!!?), I'm surprised I'm not full on sick right now.

Of course, I probably just jinxed myself, butI digress.

I was on an executive floor in the Holiday Inn Downtown Vancouver, with a king sized bed (yay!) and a floor to ceiling mirror that really wasn't too forgiving. Yikes. Here's the view from my room:

Good thing I'd found out ahead of time where we were staying,

I originally thought it was across the street...

It feels like all I do at these things is eat. There are designated times for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And this time, it was all buffet style. Oh sweet jesus, do you know how hard it is to resist going back for seconds when food tastes that good?

The banquet dinner was spectacular. Seafood, chicken, pasta.... that spinach canneloni was to die for.

Hell, even the one meal I had to pay for at Joeys was amazing. My steak was perfect, and they have something called crispy mashed potatoes. What's a crispy mashed potato, you ask? Well it's mashed potatoes, wrapped up in a spring roll, fried, then topped with sour cream and bacon bits. And not those crappy little simulated bacon bits – like bacon bits that used to be whole strips of bacon. Fucking delicious. And brilliant!

I love bacon, can you tell? Had a lot of that, too.

Then there's the booze. First night, hospitality room. Free beer! Have as much as you want! I think I only had two, just because I hadn't eaten yet and was halfway gone after just those two. But then at dinner I just had to try the Super Sonic Gin and Tonic the waiter suggested. Look at the name, I had to try it. It was basically a G&T with slush. They add slush to all their drinks. Very odd.

So aside from the food and booze, there were other awesome things about the weekend. I got to see some friends I haven't seen in years, which was yay! Hanging with those friends and their other friends, I came to the stunning realization that I'm not a club girl in any sense of the word. I went out wearing jeans, a regular black shirt, a new cardigan and my new sketchers, while many of the other girls there were in five inch heels, miniskirts and sparkly tops with their tits out to here. In comparison, I looked like I was in my pyjamas.

In da club!

Not so much.

I'm okay with that though, I like pyjamas.

I also did a little shopping, because retail therapy always makes me feel better.

So I did gain, most likely from beer bloat. Just to show I'm not wussing out again, I am, as of this week, only down 10 lbs total. Which sucks, but I had a good time this weekend. It was worth it.

I think I should make some kind of long term goal. I'd really like the be down 25 lbs by the New Year. Which will be exceedingly difficult as we're moving into the season of Halloween candy and Christmas parties. Oh, and that order I just put in for Purdy's Chocolates. But, I think I can do it. And with roller derby being done until March, I need to find some other physical activity.

I did go to the walking track last night for about an hour – I even tried running a lap! And I ran the whole lap without stopping. I could've done more, but I forgot my inhaler and got all wheezy. I'm going to try and do more running laps when I go walking laps.

We'll see how things go. It's Halloween party weekend, which means more booze, but I'm going to stick with the G&Ts so we can avoid the beer bloat. I will have photos to share of my kick ass costume later next week.

So I'm going to get back on track, I already started today. I'm finding that my soup n' salad lunch wasn't doing it for me, so I'm going back to my salad and protein regiment.

You know, I just realized I only said Fuck once in this post... how fucking weird is that?!

Food and booze,

Ginger

WLW: Back on a Track...

I had an overwhelming urge to get up off my ass on Saturday and go to the walking track.

I couldn't shake it, and normally I'm pretty good at ignoring the desire to get off the couch when I'm trying to read a book. But not on Saturday. So I gave in and toddled myself down to go for an indoor walk.

A year ago I would go to the track a few days every week, or at least try to. Back then, all I really did for activity was, well, walk and dance practice. I had ceased running, so I needed to do something more.

On Saturday I noticed something about my stride. I don't have a very long stride, which I'm told is silly because my legs are so long I really ought to have a longer stride. But I don't. What I noticed was that my thighs didn't jiggle as much when I walked. Which is astounding since I carry a lot of weight on my thighs.

There was a little jiggle, but not nearly as much as there used to be. So yay for that.

I managed to do 19 laps. I was aiming for 20, but I was starting to hurt by 15, and I probably should have stopped at 17, but I pushed through two more laps. My biceps hurt, how much sense does that make?! Plus I think a blister is starting to form on my right heel. Gonna have to take care of that... blarg!

I think I have roller derby to thank for the not-so-jiggy thighs. All that skating has really built up the my quads, pretty soon I should be able to snap a man's neck with these babies! Or at least I would, except our season is over in a couple weeks, which is sad, but probably necessary.

Here's the girls doing a weaving drill through the pace line:

Wheeeee!

As for food, I pretty much fell off the wagon this weekend, goals be damned. It was my own fault though, I got so busy at work that I didn't have time to eat my lunch. On Thursday and Friday I only had an apple and one of those Soup to Go things, so by the end of the day I was completely ravenous... I didn't care what I was eating, just get some food in my goddamn stomach!

That led to one binge, then another, and then one more. Ugh. Very unpleasant. Then, on Monday, I did another bad thing and wound up having hot flashes all fucking day... I didn't know if I should stick my head in the trash can and puke, or just tear my clothes off.

I've had hot flashes since I was 16, so I'm used to them, but I usually get them at night... it's been many years since I had one during the day. Once they passed, I couldn't bring myself to eat anything because I felt so shitty, so I went hungry the rest of the day.

From one extreme to another: binge, then starve. That's a bad Ginger! Bad!

I don't really want to share my weight this week. It's made me not too happy with myself, so I'm going to use the Golden Power of Fuck-You-I'm-Not-Sharing. I gained, and that's all I feel like sharing this week.

I could probably chalk it up to hormones, but that feels like the bitch way out. No, it's just me, being stupid.

How about if I make the goal this week to not let myself get so hungry that I gorge when I get home. Or, If I'm going to, make sure it's not on Quiznos or something else that's going to ruin me for another week. Like carrots.

This is actually going to be incredibly difficult seeing as I'm heading down to Vancouver this weekend for a meeting thing... nothing but restaurant food all weekend. I feel nauseous already.

Wish me luck.

Ginger.

WLW: Emotional Eating

I wasn't going to post this week... it was not a good week.

I did a lot of emotional eating over the weekend. I haven't done that in a long time because, you know, I've been trying to break myself of that habit. Doing that was how I got so fat in the first place.

It's actually really bizarre – when I feel sad, I don't feel hungry. Quite the opposite in fact, but I eat anyway. I eat stuff that's easy to get and doesn't involve any preparation beyond throwing it in the oven.

I need to find another outlet besides food to make me feel better when I'm feeling sad. Generally, I know that going for a walk often helps, but by the time I thought of that on the weekend, it was far too late to be wandering around town.

I was expecting a massive gain, which would probably have depressed me even more after coming so far. And yes, I have come far in this. I may not be down 30 pounds yet, but I'm doing alright.

This weekend I have a meeting in PG. It's kind of a milestone for me, since it was at the last meeting I had in K-Town that I made the decision to get healthier. I've thinned out quite a bit since those people last saw me, so it's going to be interesting if they notice after not having seen me since June.

It's kind of crazy, looking back at when I started this – God I hate this word – journey. Did you know, that I weigh more now than I did when I joined Weight Watchers the first time, back in 2007? It's true! I think I may just throw myself a party when I get down to that original starting weight of 209 lbs.

Considering how heavy I was a few months ago, it just seems bizarre that I felt the need to go to WW at that size. But then, I look at photos of me at that weight, and you can see why. Here's one:

I see you, Baby... shakin' that ass!

Actually, maybe I wasn't all that fat at the time... it just seemed like it, considering I was about 20 pounds heavier than I was a year prior. But I was very soft back then. I didn't do any real exercise beyond walking, which actually helped immensely once I started WW. Between dancing and derby, I'm far more toned now than I was then, so 209 should look pretty damn good on me... you know, once I get there.

So anyhoo, I am going to share the number, as it wasn't nearly as bad as I was dreading.

Last week's weight was 221.1 lbs.

This week's number is...

*zoooooooom*

220.7 lbs

Putting me at 14.8 lbs total weight loss.

Not a huge loss, but totally not a gain. I'll take it.

And now that we're past all this emotional drama, next results should be much improved.

Snacks and stuff,

Ginger

WLW: Cake?

So I'm adding another food to my list of Foods I Can't Eat Because They Make Me Sick. Currently, white pasta and milk chocolate top the list. After this weekend, I'm adding fries.

Which totally sucks balls, because I love fries. Especially when they're under gravy and cheese.

Formerly, joy. Currently, evil.

I really can't believe how ill I felt on the weekend. I didn't even eat that many fries, just a few that were left at the bottom of the bag in the freezer. But not 30 minutes after finishing my little lunch I had to lay down with a rolling stomach and raging headache. I slept for two hours...two freakin' hours!! That's not normal.

I've made an appointment to discuss this with my doctor. After Googling my symptoms, it looks like I'm having blood sugar spikes, which apparently aren't healthy. I know the easiest way to solve this problem is to not eat stuff that makes me feel sick, but I'd like to know the reason why they make me feel sick.

So yeah. Beyond my little fry adventure, I was pretty good this week. It was unseasonably warm last week, which made it ridiculously hot in my apartment, which in turn made cooking dinner and eating the last thing I felt like doing. Not eating is bad, I know. But if you lived in the sauna that is my apartment in summer weather, you wouldn't want to turn the stove/oven on either.

This coming weekend is a free weekend, which is a damn good thing because it's.... dun dun DUN!... my birthday! That means I get cake! Yay!

MINE!!!!

I don't know where or how I'll get cake but I'll find some one way or another.

On with the show!

Last week was wine weight gain, but things were looking up for this week. Lots of fruit and veggies, minimal carbs. Keep your fingers crossed!

My weight last week was 224.6 lbs

This week I weigh in at....

*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

221.7 lbs, for a total weight loss of 13.8 lbs

Back on track, bitches!!!!!

Hopefully, now that bellydance and now derby are back, I'll get more exercise and shed some more poundage.

Calories don't count on your birthday, right?

Cake and Skates,

Ginger.

WLW: I love wine

It's true. I love wine. White wine to be specific. Chardonnay, Pinot Gris, Sauvingnon Blanc, Riesling – it's all good. I've never been down with red wines, since to me they taste like that bile aftertaste you get in your mouth after vomiting. How's that for a lovely mental picture?

On the right, deliciousness! On the left, a glass of puke.

It's something I haven't allowed myself since I started this whole weight loss thing. White wine has a shit tonne of sugar in it, so I've stayed away from my favourite alcoholic bevvy, instead opting for Gin andTonic, since that's really the only hard liquor I can drink without pop or juice to mix it. Plus, wine makes me gain a minimum of three pounds in bloatiness, every single time.

Why am I bringing up white wine? Well, in case you haven't guessed already, I had some this weekend. And by some, I mean probably the equivalent to an entire bottle. To myself.

See, I went to a wedding this weekend. I love weddings, especially ones where I'm not related to anyone and don't have to deal with family bullshit. People tend to be at their happiest when they see two people who love each other pledge to be together for ever and ever.

It's a celebration of love, and what better way to celebrate that then with wine? Seriously?

I know what you're thinking, 'but Ginger, couldn't you have just had your Gin and Tonics at the wedding?' I could have, yes. But someone attending the wedding was allergic to citrus, which meant no limes to put in my Gin and Tonic.

That's a weak excuse, I know. But that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

In addition to practically drinking my weight in wine, I also indulged in the dessert table. Chocolate cupcakes with chocolate butter cream icing? Fuck, yes!

Not the ones I had at the wedding, but.... pretty colours!

So between cupcakes and wine, plus the hangover food I ate the day after, who wants to bet I did really shitty this week?

It's true, I did do shitty this week, but I'm not going to let myself feel bad about it. Been there, done that the past two weeks. I refuse to feel bad this week.

I got to see a friend and co-worker marry a wonderful women that doesn't take any of his shit and quite frankly is perfect for him, which makes her eight shades of awesome.

I refuse to feel guilty about celebrating love. There's not enough in this world, it feels like sometimes. Otherwise, why would everyone keep saying 'we gotta stop hating, we gotta love each other'?

So let's focus on stuff I love this past week, weight-related or otherwise.

I love that the dress pants I bought in Montana are looser, and not just because I've 'broken them in'.

I love that my waistline is down to 35.5 inches – the max a woman's waistline is supposed to be is 35 inches, otherwise they're carrying too much heart-attack belly fat – which is getting me closer to being that much healthier.

I love that I've finally made the decision to replace my dead DSLR so I can get back to working on my photography. I haven't done any 'artsy' photography is close to a year, and I've missed it terribly. Along that line, I also love that I'm in a place in my life where I can contemplate dropping $1,700 on a camera and not feel like I'll never be able to pay for it.

I love that I was able to talk to my bestie out in Newfoundland for a little while today.

I love that bellydancing is back tonight, even though my knee is still being a bitch and shimmying might not work so well.

I love that my orange travel mug from Whitehorse is full of delicious Highland Grogg coffee right now... mmmmm, tasty.

So yeah, there's a few things that I love at the moment.

So onward to what I don't love so much.

Last week saw no change in my weight, which left me at 223.6 lbs.

This week I sit at....

*drumrolllllllllll*

224.6 lbs

I'm up a pound, which sucks. BUT! Remember how I said wine makes me gain three pounds? Well, maybe I've lost two of those three, and just need to take off the last pound of wine weight! Right? Right!

I am totally back on track with my eating – I think I've been consuming too much fruit lately – so we'll see what the next week brings.

Lots and Love,

Ginger.